Femme Frustrated
by YouLittleRat
Summary: After an upsetting experience, King Julien deals the only way he knows how, by blowing it phenomenally out of proportion. (Please review)


The penguins and the lemurs are watching a movie. With his fists in his mouth King Julien's expression is more than gleeful as the television shines back and white.

_"You know that we can never be together"_

_"Darling, so long as we have love, we will always be together" _

"What is this nancy crap?" Skipper's voice cuts through the scene, "Where's the wham-bam gangster action?"

"I'm sure it's coming up-"

"Shut up you chatty penguins! The picture box is talking! You shut up too! Oh that's just me."

_"But what about your best friend- Richard!"_

_"Let's forget about Richard"_

_"No, I mean Richard!" Bang!_ The actress is shot on screen.

_"Florence! What have you done to her?!"_

"Alright!" pipes up Skipper, "This is more like it"

"Noooo!" shouts King Julien, "Why Richard, why?! Their love was supposed to be forever!" He runs up to the screen and beats it with his tiny fists.

"Steady on King Julien, it's just a movie," Private calls to him.

"Yeah, and you're blocking it Water Works," adds Skipper unhelpfully.

"King Julien, maybe back away a bit." Maurice tugs at his King, "That's enough T.V. for today, how 'bout we go back home and fix you up a nice banana smoothie?"

"Oh Maurice, it's just so cruel, so cruel." The two lemurs climb the ladder out, followed by Mort.

"Geez we really need to rethink inviting Ringtail next time."

"Actually Skipper, we didn't invite them over."

"Really? Then we need to rethink getting lemur proof locks."

Back in his habitat, Julien pushes away his smoothie. "Take it away Maurice, let me be."

"But, but banana smoothies always settle the heart upsets as well as the stomach upsets. You told me that."

"This time, smoothies aren't enough."

"Weeeell, what about this?!" Maurice jumps away and brings back the boom box. He pumps it up and waves it in Julien's face.

"Ugh, no Maurice. My booty is not feeling it." Maurice's jaw drops and his eyebrows rise. He turns off the machine.

"Feeeet!" shouts Mort suddenly and ambushes the King. Now Maurice smiles.

"Oh _no!_ Mort's on the King's feet. What are you going to do?!"

"Eh." King Julien feebly kicks Mort away.

"Really? That's it?"

"Yes, really. I am too filled with the sadness that I cannot even give Mort a good thrashing."

"I take advantage!" Mort grabs at Julien again. The bigger lemur roars. He throws Mort onto the ground and smacks him viciously with his heel. Mort gets dizzy and falls off the platform.

"I am not to be pushed at, you annoying thing! Do not interrupt my brooding!" Julien screams down at Mort. "Uhhhg" he moans and plops back into his lawn chair. Maurice gives a satisfied chuckle then takes the rejected smoothie away. Marlene hops up to the lemurs' rock.

"Hi there King Julien. Can I borrow your boom box? Mine's broken."

"It's over there."

"Are you alright? You don't sound so good."

"I do not _feel _so good. The silly penguins were playing a sad movie."

"Awww," Marlene coos and sits down next to him. "What happened?"

"The mean jealous friend Richard shot Florence so that Whatshisname wouldn't leave their gangy gang because their love was forbidden."

"Well that's not fair."

"I know!" Julien throws his arms up. "Nobody is seeing it as I'm seeing it! Nobody cares!"

"I care." Marlene leans over and hugs him. A second later Julien is giggling.

"Whoo-hoo-hoo. Your whiskers are tickling my ears."

"Whoops sorry." Marlene pulls away.

"Oh, you really are a nice otter. I don't know many otters and I don't care for them much but you're probably the nicest."

"Now don't you go getting a crush on me," Marlene teases.

"Not to worry. Due to my status of regalness and your vulgar commonness it could never happen."

"Vulgar commonness. Wow. That's enough Julien for one day." Marlene stands.

"If we were to be even trying it would have been ridiculous because it'd be forbidden… love. _Forbidden love? _Doh! Marlene! Do you know what that means?!" Marlene yelps in surprise as Julien grabs her paws and swings her around. "We are a forbidden love! We are meant to be!"

"What? No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think you're a little confused. We are _not_ meant to be together."

"Darling, so long as we have our love, we will always be together."

"What?"

Maurice comes in seeing Julien holding Marlene. "King Julien? What's going on?"

"I am renouncing my throne!"

"What!?" shouts both Marlene and Maurice.

"Yes, that which I am saying is true. Just like the movie-man -who's name I can't remember- I too will cut myself of the bonds to my dark youth and find happiness with the woman I love!"

"Julien! Will you jus- will you- will you just- ah!" Marlene stammers angrily, waving her arms around. Julien is busy packing his things into a bag, and by his things, meaning a bunch of fruit. He doesn't seem to notice her.

"Look, maybe you should let me handle this." Maurice puts a hand on her shoulder.

"You make him come to his senses." She puts a finger into his face warningly then leaves towards her habitat. Maurice walks up behind his King and wrings his hands.

"King Julien?"

"Mhmm." Julien doesn't look up from digging through a pile of fruit.

"Y-y-you can't renounce the throne, you just can't!"

"Davy did it! Or was it Joey? It doesn't matter! If he can turn down being the head chef of London than so can I!" Julien holds up a coconut in triumph then sticks it into his bag.

"The leader of a gang in New York." Maurice rolls his eyes.

"Don't be correcting me, I know what I am saying."

"Come on, this is ridiculous, even for you." Julien raises an eyebrow at Maurice. Maurice purses his lips together and starts again in a more sly voice, "I don't think you're realizing what you're doing."

"Nonsense, I am going to Marlene." He hoists the bag over his shoulder and turns away but Maurice steps in front of him.

"Fine then. With you gone just about anybody can take over the throne, including me." Julien gasps. Maurice smiles and continues, "And with me as King of the lemurs, do you know what that'd make you?"

"A-a-"

"A commoner?" pipes up Mort, back from his trip over the edge.

"Bingo. And as a commoner, you'd have to do whatever I say."

"Even stay?"

"Whatever the King desires." Maurice examines his nails confidently.

Julien the Commoner lets out a sorrowful whine, "Noooo! I cannot let you be King!"

Maurice puts his hands on his hips, "So you've had enough of this forbidden love thing?"

"Yes I-" Julien stops then adds under his breath "Yes Richard." Maurice walks off satisfied.

Later that night, the lemurs are sound asleep on the bouncy castle. King Julien rises and tiptoes away, covering his mouth hard to keep from giggling. He enters Marlene's cave.

"Aw. Look at her angelic face, it is as if nothing in the world could possibly wake her," Julien says, watching Marlene's drooling, snorting form. "WAKE UP!"

"GAH! What? What? King Julien?!"

"I guess it wasn't that hard to wake you."

"What are you doing here?!" Marlene stands with a cross look.

"I have come to see you my darling." He grabs Marlene and gracefully dips her. "I have run away from Richard and my kingdom."

"Richard?"

"Yes, and you are Florence."

"Alright look," she pushes him away, "this isn't gonna work out. It's not that having a dashing prince relinquish his family and honor for a girl isn't _completely, utterly_ romantic, it's just that I'm not seeing that prince… being you."

"That's because I'm a king." Marlene's face falls.

"Okay then, let put this straight. I do not want you. More specifically, I do not want you here."

"I don't want me being here either."

"Good."

"Look at how dark and crowded it is, I feel like I am being crushed by the ceiling." As he talks, Julien surveys the room and mimes being crushed. Marlene smacks her forehead.

"M'kay, back home you go." She starts to pull him away.

"King Julien!" calls a voice from outside.

"Oh no!" Julien ducks behind Marlene. "Maurice has discovered I'm missing. He's come to kill you!"

"He's whaaaaa-?" Without warning Julien lifts the otter over his shoulder, then immediately collapses under her. "If we are going to be getting married you are going to have to lose a few pounds. I don't want everybody to be all like; '_look at that handsome lemur with that dumpy, frumpy otter, what does he see in her?'_ you know?"

"Julien-" Marlene's interrupted as Julien tries again, smacking her head against the ceiling and knocking her out in the process. He grunts deep in his throat and trudges out of the cave.

Waking up to a deadly headache, Marlene dazedly turns her head to hear somebody singing.

"_Just me and my girl. Gonna give her a twirl. She's my cinnamon swirl, I'm on top of the world," _goes Julien as he dances around lighting candles, actually he's lighting fruit but he's treating them as candles. Marlene props herself up. "Oh! You're awake! Sorry about the bump on the head. How do you like our new home? Pretty spacious huh?"

Marlene looks around, "Are we in the reptile house?"

"Uh huh. We're with the chameleons! Look! They're happy to see you!" Julien runs over to a row of the reptiles and nudges them. They start a breathtaking display of color.

"Wow, Julien, this is all very flattering-"

"That's not even the best part!" The lemur bounds over to some bushes. He pulls out a boom box. "I have arranged to play your favorite music as an ambiance to our perfect love," he says as he looks deep into Marlene's eyes.

"R-really?" Marlene looks back.

"Yep!" He pushes the button and the boom box blares a deafening mechanical thump accompanied by a deep voice. "Tech-no punk! You like no?"

"That's… not my favorite music."

"Don't you feel so free?!" Julien vigorously head-bangs to the beat.

"When do you think Maurice will find us here?!" Marlene stands and shouts over the noise.

"Not to be worrying, Maurice will never find us."

"Ahem."

"Maurice?!" King Julien jumps in surprise, knocking the boom box over and turning it off. Maurice crosses his arms. "How did you find us?!"

"It's the reptile house, not IKEA." The lemur responds with an arched brow.

"Don't you hurt Marlene," Julien jumps in front of the otter, "she's done nothing wrong! Our forbidden love will last forever!" He takes Marlene's hand in his and kisses it, immediately he gags. "Ewww. It tastes like fish."

"That's okay, I was just coming to tell you that it's not forbidden."

Julien looks up. "Say what?"

"Oh it's not forbidden to marry a commoner if you're a King." Maurice repeats with a sneaky smile. "I hope that helps." He turns to go. Julien turns and thinks to himself, the wheels in his brain turn.

"Wait!" Maurice waits. To Marlene Julien says, "Marlene, I don't think this is going to work out. I am hoping you will understand, we are just too different."

"Ooookay" she looks at him sideways.

"You coming your majesty?" King Julien follows his right hand man away.

"To think I almost married for _ordinary _love. Yuck."

The end


End file.
